Snails and Puppy Dog Tails
by The Italian Peach
Summary: .:Drabble Collection, One Shot:. Seven things you didn't know about Ron and Harry's friendship.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

**Snails and Puppy Dog Tails**

**i.**

Ron never talked to Harry about girls (unless you counted Yule Ball, which Ron didn't because frankly, that had been an extremely embarrassing period of his life). Seamus and Dean were always making remarks about the girls they passed in the hall and were quick to share with each other details of their latest conquests, but Ron's friendship with Harry consisted only of homework, chess, and Voldemort's latest plans.

Once, in their third year, Ron asked Harry if he though Hermione's breasts had gotten larger over summer. Harry had stared at him with such a mix of surprise and revolution that he could actually _feel_ his ears melting.

"Hermione?" he asked with wide eyes, "Why would you be looking at _Hermione's_ chest? She's practically our sister!"

Ron managed to stutter out an excuse and the subject was never brought up again. (Later, Ron would be thankful. As much as he loved Harry, he really didn't want to know the details of Harry's relationship with Ginny, thank you very much.)

**ii.**

The day before the Second Task of the Triwizard Tournament, Professor McGonagall told Ron that he was what Harry Potter held most dear to his heart. This information made Ron's heart swell with pride. He, Ron Weasley, an insignificant member of an outstanding family, was more important to the famous Harry Potter than anyone else in the world.

He suddenly wondered if he would choose Harry as what he would miss the most if he was Harry's shoes. Then he looks over at Hermione, looking so pretty in the low light, and feels guilty because he knows the answer is no.

**iii.**

Not long after being rescued from Malfoy Manor, Ron found some bottles of Firewhiskey in the kitchen after Bill and Fleur had gone to bed. Hermione, still healing, declined to partake in this new found treasure, but Harry and Ron each knocked back a bottle or two. The liquor burned as it went down and left a warm tingling sensation in their fingers and toes, but their minds remained strangely focused. And as people do when faced with the presence of liquor and war, they began to talk of the future.

They had a grand time with it: they would work as aurors and help to revamp the corrupted Ministry. Harry would get back together with Ginny, and they would get a dog named Padfoot. Ron would try to restart whatever it was he had with Hermione. The four of them would get a flat together, and the future would be bright and carefree.

They were doing a very good job of avoiding the big _What if…_ of death, when Harry said, "If I die, I don't want you naming your children after me."

Ron turned, shocked at where their happy conversion was turning. "You're not going to die, Harry."

"It's always a possibility."

"Not if I've got anything to say about it."

Harry chuckled and poured himself another glass. "Just promise me there won't be a Harry Granger-Weasley running around if anything happens to me."

"Well, other than that being an _awful_ name to inflict upon an innocent child, why the hell shouldn't I name my son after my best friend?"

There was silence for a long time; not a comfortable silence usually shared with warm fireplaces and butterbeer, but one laced with the promise of secrets and shame.

At last, Harry said, "I don't want to be erased by your son."

Ron, who was beginning to dose off, jerked awake and blinked owlishly. "What?" he asked, because he was sure he had heard wrong.

"If I'm dead and you name your kid Harry, who's to know if it was Harry Potter or Harry Weasley that snorted milk out of his nose from laughing so hard? I mean, what if you forget _me_ because a boy who is supposed to be honoring my name is redefining who I was?" Harry glanced at Ron, and muttered, "Pretty selfish, huh?"

Ron stared down into his glass. "No. Not at all. And I promise, mate."

**iv.**

It was because of that conversation that Ron refused to give his children the name of a fallen hero. Rose and Hugo would begin their lives without the legacy of a dead warrior on their backs.

Harry must have been drunker than he appeared that night because he completely forgot his confession and went on to name all his children after dead people and even jokingly scolded Ron when Hugo's middle name wasn't Harry.

**v.**

Harry secretly likes Ron just a little more than Hermione. It's no doubt that the two of them are both on his list of Very Important People and he loves both of them with all his heart, but if he had to choose which one was higher on said list, Ron would win by a fraction.

Hermione is great. She's smart and knows just what to say to make you feel better, but sometimes her brains isolate her. Sometimes, Harry feels as if she were his mother as opposed to his best friend.

But Ron is fun to be around. With him, Harry can get pissed at the local bar and expect to end up on a boat to Nova Scotia in the morning (which has actually happened once; he completely underestimated how hard it was to Apparate off a boat with a hangover). Harry knows he can go to Ron with any problem ("What?! You're seeing into Voldemort's mind again? Isn't he _dead_?") and hear, "Bugger, we're screwed," as opposed to a shrill scolding from Hermione.

Very simply, Harry likes Ron just a tad bit more than Hermione because with Ron, Harry is just an everyday kind of bloke, even when in reality, he's anything but.

**iiv.**

Cause: Mrs. Weasley, acting as Harry's proxy mother, once bought him orange boxers with little snitches.

Cause: Actually _being_ Ron's mother, she also bought him a pair, but instead of snitches, they were decorated with yellow polka dots.

Effect: Ginny started at Ron's backside as he stretched up to get a jar of jam out of the upper cupboard. A flash of bright orange peeked out from the waistband of his jeans.

"Ron," she said slowly, "Why are you wearing Harry's underpants?"

Ron turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Why am I what?"

"Why." Ginny repeated, "Are. You. Wearing. Harry's. Boxers?"

Ron looked confused. "I'm not."

"Oh, yes you are. The orange pair with the snitches."

He checked and yelped when snitches met his stare instead of dots. "What in Merlin's…! "

Ginny tried to hide her smirk. "Is there something about you and Harry you're not telling me?"

Ron's ears flushed and he narrowed his eyes. "A better question is how you knew these boxers were Harry's."

Ginny's face turned slightly pink and muttered, "None of your business."

Later, Ron had the boxers in question thoroughly washed and left them, along with a note, on Harry's bed.

_Harry,_

_If I were you I wouldn't wear these until you've washed them a couple more times. There was a mix up and they maybe _probably_ touched my bum (among other things)._

_Ron_

_PS: Keep your hands off my sister. _

**iv.**

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't Hermione and Ginny who insisted that they be married on the same day. They were good friends, but the public often forgot that their fiancés were _best_ friends.

* * *

Props to those who can find the _Friends_ reference. 


End file.
